Ginko's Home for Wayward Asian Girls

Movie Review

Oriental Sexpress

1984

Asia	Asia, Mama-san
Laya	Yuki, Crew
Lili Marlene	Mrs. Chumley
Blair Harris	Michael Hardon, Detective
King Paul	King Paul, Bartender
Kin Ki	Yashi, Crew
Timi Lane	Sheila, Secretary
Don Fernando	Captain Eros
Robert Lee	Mr. Humphrey Chumley, Wealthy Executive

Captain Eros (Don Fernando) operates an Oriental Pleasure Boat out of San Francisco, where for a fee he will take you on an Oriental Pleasure Cruise. Filmed and released in 1984, Oriental Sexpress came at a time when an honest attempt at plot was incorporated into the features. Oriental Sexpress is memorable for the three Asian stars whose only performance was this feature, Captain Eros terrible phony facial hair and the campy humor and one liner's.

Scene 1: Captain Eros is interviewing Yuki (Laya) for a position on the Pleasure Boat Staff. Scene takes place at Club Eros his bar and base of operations. Asia, the Mama-san of the crew, suggests that King Paul conduct the more intimate part of the interview. As Captain Eros, Asia and Yashi (Kin Ki) watch, King Paul receives a short blow job followed by missionary and cowgirl. The short scene ends with King Paul pulling out and cumming on Yuki’ ass.

Most memorable line, Eros referring to Yuki not speaking English: “With a body like that you really don’t need to talk.”

Scene 2: This is actually a continuation of the first scene where Yashi wants her turn with Yuki. The short uninspiring girl-girl scene consisted of hesitant cunniligus by Yuki followed by a poorly executed strap-on sequence (80’s technology).

Captain Eros enters the picture with the Line. “I know what Yashi wants. Yashi wants real cock.”

The scene heats up with Yashi and Yuki sharing oral duties followed by Captain Eros mercenary on Yashi. Captain Eros cums in Yuki’s mouth. Yuki gives the most pitiful “I’m not really happy to be here look” as the cum drips off her chin. But all ends well with Eros giving Yuki the job as crew on his pleasure boat.

Scene 3: Once again at Club Eros where King Paul is tending bar . Enter Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey Chumley (Lili Marlene and Robert Lee). Mrs. Chumley has read about the Pleasure Boat and desires a cruise. King Paul is reluctant to hook her up without a bribe. He accepts a three way between himself, Mr. Chumley and Mrs. Chumley. The well shot, long scene for the era features extensive anal by King Paul and Mrs. Chumley.

Best line, Mr. Chumley: “She hadn’t had that much fun since she played with the Green Bays Packers.”

Scene ends with a drunk and passed out Mr. Chumley being thrown out of the Bar by King Paul shortly after Mrs. Chumley going off on her own to find the pleasure boat.

Scene 4: At the office of Private Detective Michael Hardon ( Blair Harris), Sheila, his secretary (Timi Lane) is lamenting that there is not enough business to pay the bills. Before the detective leaves for lunch, Sheila demands that she be serviced. A very nice scene follows consisting of oral and various positions on the desk, but it appears that the detective wants to finish early.

“Hey, Baby, I got to go.”
Sheila. “How about cumin’ before you go.”
Hardon. “OK”

The detective cums and gets half of it on his pin stripe suit but undeterred heads off to lunch.

Scene 5: Continues at the detectives office where Mr. Chumley arrives wanting to hire the detective to find his wife. The dutiful secretary calls Hardon and tells him to return to the office because they have a very wealthy customer. Hardon tells Sheila to keep him company until her arrives.

During fore play Sheila asks. “Do you have all that money they say you have?”
Chumley, “I got enough money to burn a wet horse”

Hardon returns to his office before Chumley can get serious with Sheila. Chumley explains to Hardon that he lost his wife at Club Eros and would like her back. Hardon leaves and Chumley wants to finish what he started. Chumley is charged $100.00 for the privilege, which he gladly pays, plus a big tip.

Sheila, “Oh, Mr. Chumley, you cum so fast.”
Chumley, “That’s why they call me rabbit Chumley.”

Scene 6: Club Eros. Yashi and King Paul are lamenting shore duty when Detective Hardon arrives. Yashi offers to tell Hardon where the boat is if he services her. After a nice scene consisting of oral and missionary. Hardon cums on Yashi’s pussy.

Now Yashi has this ability to make her vagina open and close at will, something she repeats several dozen times. Resembling the maw of some invertebrate, Hardon comments.

“You got a hungry pussy there baby.”

Scene 7: In a long scene, Mrs. Chumley arrives at the Pleasure Boat where she finds Captain Eros, Yuki and Asia. After being drugged with a special Oriental Tea, Mrs. Chumley relaxes and participates in a GGGB scene where they all share oral and vaginal duties.

Best line, Eros to Mrs. Chumley, “I’m going to show you oriental position number 1.” At which Yuki mounts him reverse cowgirl. And a good time is had by all.

Scene 8: Detective Hardon shows up at the pleasure boat, .45 Automatic in hand. Finding Eros drunk and passed out, Hardon brandishing his gun, demands that Mrs. Chumley be allowed to leave. Eros assures Hardon that she is not being kept against her will, but Mrs. Chumley is content to stay a little longer. Eros offers him the girls and another GGGB ensures, but primarily Asia does most of the work.

After being pleasured Hardon is set to go when Eros demands,” 5. Five hundred dollars for the use of this boat and the girls.”

Best Line, Hardon grabbing his .45, “I’ll give you seven. Seven hunks of hot lead!”

BANG

The End

Back to Asia, Kin Ki & Layla

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